The World Is A Lovely Place

Pay Attention To It

85,443 notes

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

fuckingrecipes:

foxyplaydate:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS LISTEN UP.
YOU SEE THAT SHIT UP THERE THAT’S FUCKING CHOCOLATE LAVA CAKE
DO YOU WANT TO MAKE A CAKE COVERED IN HOT GOOEY CHOCOLATE FROSTING IN LESS THAN 15 MINUTES? 
THE CORRECT ANSWER IS A VIKING WAR CRY AS YOU CHARGE INTO BATTLE.
STEP 1: COMPLETE A VIRGIN SACRIFICE. (SATAN MUST BE PRESENT BECAUSE THIS CAKE IS SO DELICIOUS IT’S PROBABLY A SIN.)
STEP 2: PREPARE GENERIC BOX CAKE RECIPE ACCORDING TO BOX DIRECTIONS. BACK TO THE CLASSICS MOTHERFUCKER. MIX USING THE SPINE OF YOUR ENEMIES. 
STEP 3: POUR INTO A LARGE MICROWAVESAFE CONTAINER (LARGER THE BETTER, BUT IT NEEDS TO BE DEEPER THAN THE MARIANAS TRENCH FOR OPTIMAL LAVA)
STEP 4: TAKE A SMALL TUB OF GENERIC FROSTING FROM YOUR LOCAL SUPERMARKET OF SIN. SWIPE A MACHETE AROUND THE INSIDE OF THE TUB LOOSENING THE WHOLE TUB FROM THE SIDES AND PLOP INTO MIDDLE OF YOUR CAKE BATTER. DO NOT MIX. 
STEP 5: PUT INTO MICROWAVE FOR EIGHT MINUTES AND SET THE TABLE USING CHINA YOU RAIDED FROM WEAKER VILLAGES. 
STEP 6: REMOVE FROM MICROWAVE AND LET SIT FOR ABOUT THIRTY SECONDS. THIS IS BEST SERVED MOLTEN LAVA HOT ACCENTUATED WITH THE TASTE OF BLISTERS ON YOUR TONGUE. 
STEP 7: GET A SERVING DISH WITH A LIP THAT CURVES UPWARD SO LAVA DOES NOT OVERFLOW AND PLACE UPSIDE DOWN ON TOP OF CAKE AND FLIP OVER.
STEP 8: LIFT SLOWLY, COOKED CAKE WILL SIT ON PLATE AND LIQUID FROSTING WILL SPILL OVER SIDES. 
STEP 9: CELEBRATE WITH VICTORY SEX. 
STEP 10: EAT. 

IF YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE GORGEOUS FUCKERS WHO DON’T ACTUALLY LIKE SEX, YOU CAN SUBSTITUTE WITH AGGRESSIVE CUDDLING OR NEON-COLORED POST-IT NOTES FULL OF ADMIRATION FOR SOMEONE’S EXISTENCE. 

did fuckingrecipes just equalize this post for the asexual population gallifrey bless fuckingrecipes

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

fuckingrecipes:

foxyplaydate:

ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS LISTEN UP.

YOU SEE THAT SHIT UP THERE THAT’S FUCKING CHOCOLATE LAVA CAKE

DO YOU WANT TO MAKE A CAKE COVERED IN HOT GOOEY CHOCOLATE FROSTING IN LESS THAN 15 MINUTES? 

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS A VIKING WAR CRY AS YOU CHARGE INTO BATTLE.

STEP 1: COMPLETE A VIRGIN SACRIFICE. (SATAN MUST BE PRESENT BECAUSE THIS CAKE IS SO DELICIOUS IT’S PROBABLY A SIN.)

STEP 2: PREPARE GENERIC BOX CAKE RECIPE ACCORDING TO BOX DIRECTIONS. BACK TO THE CLASSICS MOTHERFUCKER. MIX USING THE SPINE OF YOUR ENEMIES. 

STEP 3: POUR INTO A LARGE MICROWAVESAFE CONTAINER (LARGER THE BETTER, BUT IT NEEDS TO BE DEEPER THAN THE MARIANAS TRENCH FOR OPTIMAL LAVA)

STEP 4: TAKE A SMALL TUB OF GENERIC FROSTING FROM YOUR LOCAL SUPERMARKET OF SIN. SWIPE A MACHETE AROUND THE INSIDE OF THE TUB LOOSENING THE WHOLE TUB FROM THE SIDES AND PLOP INTO MIDDLE OF YOUR CAKE BATTER. DO NOT MIX. 


STEP 5: PUT INTO MICROWAVE FOR EIGHT MINUTES AND SET THE TABLE USING CHINA YOU RAIDED FROM WEAKER VILLAGES. 

STEP 6: REMOVE FROM MICROWAVE AND LET SIT FOR ABOUT THIRTY SECONDS. THIS IS BEST SERVED MOLTEN LAVA HOT ACCENTUATED WITH THE TASTE OF BLISTERS ON YOUR TONGUE. 

STEP 7: GET A SERVING DISH WITH A LIP THAT CURVES UPWARD SO LAVA DOES NOT OVERFLOW AND PLACE UPSIDE DOWN ON TOP OF CAKE AND FLIP OVER.

STEP 8: LIFT SLOWLY, COOKED CAKE WILL SIT ON PLATE AND LIQUID FROSTING WILL SPILL OVER SIDES. 

STEP 9: CELEBRATE WITH VICTORY SEX. 

STEP 10: EAT. 

IF YOU’RE ONE OF THOSE GORGEOUS FUCKERS WHO DON’T ACTUALLY LIKE SEX, YOU CAN SUBSTITUTE WITH AGGRESSIVE CUDDLING OR NEON-COLORED POST-IT NOTES FULL OF ADMIRATION FOR SOMEONE’S EXISTENCE. 

did fuckingrecipes just equalize this post for the asexual population gallifrey bless fuckingrecipes

(Source: achillesvevo, via vintageblondegeek)

51,264 notes

What if women had minstrel cycles instead of menstrual cycles? You’d just have a guy with a lute follow you around for a week every month and play you songs constantly?

My boyfriend (via thecarrionlibrarian)

#no but can you imagine if that was how you learned once a month you weren’t pregnant#by some dude singing songs about the victory of it#you wake up and he’s there and you are so happy#this dude becomes your favorite dude#but then you realize you haven’t seen your friend’s minstrel in a while#I mean everyone notices#like half the people are on the same cycle so for one week out of four your job is just flooded with fucking minstrels everywhere#the cacophony#but Mary over there is all alone#and she’s like my minstrel is late#but we all fucking know#her minstrel has gone off to find her a baby#a nine month journey he must make alone#and until he comes back there is no music in her life#what a glorious world this would be#I love the minstrels (@onionjuggler)

(via vintageblondegeek)

25,348 notes

fidoruh:

asylum-art:

Everyday Objects With Faces Are Awesome

When you walk around and look at everything around you, chances are, you may see a face. It may be human, it may be an animal, but sometimes you can see faces in inanimate objects. This is called Pareidolia: Seeing faces in random things!

I’m glad I’m not the only one that sees them

(via vintageblondegeek)